Family
Caring for a parent: the first 30 days
The first month is about information and authority, not decisions. Get the documents that let you act (power of attorney, healthcare proxy, HIPAA release), learn what the money and insurance look like, and find out what help exists locally before anyone picks a plan. Most family conflict comes from one sibling deciding alone with incomplete information.
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Week one: the documents
Durable power of attorney for finances, a healthcare proxy (or healthcare power of attorney) and a HIPAA release. Without them you cannot talk to the bank or the doctor. A state-specific template from the state bar or Area Agency on Aging is fine for most families; an elder-law attorney is worth it if there are assets, a second marriage or a sibling dispute.
Week two: the picture
Income (Social Security, pension, withdrawals), accounts, insurance (Medicare parts and supplements, long-term care policy if any), the house, debts, and the medication list. The documents to get from your parents has the full list.
Week three: the options
In-home help by the hour, adult day programs, assisted living, memory care and skilled nursing are different things with different costs and different payers. The Area Agency on Aging will walk you through what is available locally and what Medicaid covers in your state.
Week four: the family
One shared document, one monthly call, and named jobs: who handles money, who handles medical, who handles the house. The sibling who lives farthest can own the paperwork; distance does not matter for that.
Questions people ask
- Does Medicare pay for a nursing home?
- Only short rehabilitation stays after a hospital admission, and only partially. Long-term custodial care is paid by the person, a long-term care policy, or Medicaid after assets are spent down.
- What if my parent refuses help?
- Common. Start with the documents framed as "so I can help if you ever need it," and with one small accepted thing (a cleaner, a ride service). Involve their doctor; people accept from a physician what they refuse from a child.